For so long I have taken Them for granted, thinking They will always be there when I need, always smiling at me like I was the purest devotee to walk the earth. We all know of course that I'm not that... but Sri Sri Nitai Gaurachandra watched me from the age of two, watched me go about my life expecting Them to always be there, watched me make mistake after mistake, and yet still always always had an air of forgiveness, and smiled at me no matter what.
But did I use and abuse that? I made so many mistakes and did so many wrongs... yet I just expected full forgiveness from Them? Expected Them to continue smiling back at me like its no problem? Now that They are gone, all I can think about is if I could just change the things I did, change the way I went about things and the decisions I made, maybe They will still be here?
"Dear Nitai Gaurachandra, I miss You so so much. When I first saw You on that February day, just hours after the earthquake, I didn't really register that you weren't going to be around anymore. I was sad yes, but I carried on life post-earthquake, focusing on just myself and barely gave a thought that You were gone.
But this morning I sat in the corner of the room and cried tears I hadn't been able to cry for You up till now. Tears for the mistakes that You watched me make, and the offences I committed to You. Tears for not being able to decorate Your temple room anymore. Tears for the jewellery I never will be able to make for You. Tears for the memories I have. But mostly that I will never be able to see Your wonderful smiles in front of me ever again."
"Such is the mercy of Sri Sri Nitai Gaurachandra that They made you fall in love with them, and then They went away. Now we can cry in separation from Them forever more in this lifetime, and that crying will bring us to Them once more, in a way that we will never be lost to one another again!"-Sri Prahlada
Photographs by Prananath Das
That was one of the most heart-breaking, but heart-touching posts I ever read.... :(
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