Painting Lord Jagannath

I've been wanting to paint Ishaan's small Jagannath deities for almost a year now. Its not that He's not already painted, I just feel that in some parts the paint-work looks a little rough, as if They are just the end of some long production line. They probably were - after all my mother got Them for Ishaan almost 3 years ago and judging by some Jagannath deities I've seen down at the boundary wall, they're all exactly the same. I guess I just wanted a more "polished" looking Jagannath, so He can look a little more taken care of, a little more tidy.

Actually when my sister was staying with me in New Zealand, I asked her to paint Them... but the days rolled by and before I knew it she was gone, and Jagannath still hadn't been painted. Now, I'm not really an artist myself, not in the way my sister and father are, and I certainly didn't think I could manage painting these deities in the way I wanted to. (I can be a bit of a perfectionist and I didn't trust myself to get the work done just the way I liked it.Maybe thats why I asked my sister to paint Them - cuz I knew she'd get it just perfect.)

In any case my sister never got round to painting Them last year, and I've kind of been looking at Them a lot in the past 6 weeks or so, pushing myself to just do it. Just paint Them. Admittedly I've been pre-occupied with Srimati Radharani lately, but every time I saw Lord Jagannath's beaming smile, I'd feel a pang of guilt. His smile was un-relenting. "Paint Me".

So this afternoon I finally got out the paints and got started. Firstly I have to paint the white base paint, so I'd have a clean slate to begin my envisioned detailed work, and after two coats of that had dried, I can begin. At the moment, all three deities are just plain white. A completely white canvas ready for me to create something amazing.

The pressure! What if i get it so completely wrong? What if I get most of it done just the way I like it, and then make a mistake at the end? My perfectionist side of me will never forgive myself. What if it just turns into a disaster? Maybe I should've just left all three of Them the way They were... They seemed quite happy painted the old way.

Jagannath's cheeky grin is directed right at me, despite being under two coats of white paint. Not only was I was cocky enough to think I was able to take on this task, I thought it was going to be easy! Is He laughing at me? I guess all I can do now is just close my eyes and paint, and let Jagannath tell me what He wants... Chances are, He'll come out looking just the same as He was before. That'll teach me for thinking I can stick my big nose (or paintbrush) into His business.