We got home after a long 2 days in Kolkata, showered and dressed quickly to attend the festivities for Sri Balaram Jayanti, and the last day of the swing festival. We had taken an early train to get back in time, but already the festival had started. We got dressed quickly. Although I had told Kowhai she wasn't obliged to come to the festival, I wanted her to see what I see - the fun and festivities, the prasadam, worship, love for Krsna.
We arrived at the festival site just as devotees and pilgrims were lining up to get a chance to push Radha-Madhava on Their beautifully decorated swing, and I pulled Kowhai's hand to join the queue. She must have been a little bewildered - we had come in such a hurry - and barely got time to let out an "ooh" and "wow" at the fairy lights, flower garlands and beautiful decorations.
Once we were safely behind the barriers to wait our turn, I began to explain Jhulan Yatra to her, and the reasoning behind the different things that were going on around us. I told her what the boys sitting in the middle were doing; rhythmically playing the drum, clanging the symbols, singing sweetly into the microphone. I explained why the festival was taking place, what we were celebrating and exactly what they were doing with the big clay pots of food up by Radha Madhava.
The line was moving fairly quickly, every now and then stopping for 20 minutes or so in order to complete an offering off bhoga. The barrier finally lifted for our turn to swing, and we both rushed forward, ready to take that string and partake in Radha-Madhava's jhulan pastimes. As it so happened, we ended up being up close to Radha Madhava for a bhoga offering - at least 20 minutes - and I marveled at how Lord Sri Krsna had timed this. Kowhai was amazed by the swing, the garlands, the fruit decorations and the water features all around. I continued a running commentary of everything that was going on, and she silently took everything in.
Later, after Kowhai and Ishaan had crashed in their beds after the exhausting few days gone, I thought about what it meant for Kowhai to come here. To Mayapur Dham, one of the most holiest of places. Surely she has a connection with Krsna and has unfinished business from a previous life. It is my duty to pass on my knowledge to her, so she can fully understand the lifestyle I lead, and not because its all about me and how I live. Because she has come here, not by chance, but because Krsna has led her here.
Now I'm no preacher. I grew up understanding that Krsna wears yellow cloth and has a peacock feather in his hair, and this I know to be true... just as we have all grown up knowing the grass is green and the ocean has waves. But to explain this simple truth to someone who has no clue... where do I begin? I did't want to scare her away, leaving her with memories of some sort of cult she visited and disliked. Loving Krsna is blissful and sublime, what could be better than that? And here she is, with an open mind and an open heart...
Over the past 10-12 days I have shown Kowhai all around Mayapur and explained everything I know to her. We didn't sit down in the evening and discuss literature or Krsna stories. We never attended any morning classes. I simply explained all that was going on around us and answered any questions she had about what I told her. We would go to temple darshan at 7am, and I would talk through what they were offering to the deities, what we were all singing, why we would take caranamrta and so on. We went to the Jagannath Mandir, the Yoga Pith, Prabhupada's Samadhi. I was amazed at how much she picked up, how much she respected and how much she accepted. Sometimes it was her explaining things to me, or correcting me.
Above all else I felt a true test of faith in my explanations to Kowhai. She would sometimes ask me questions that I wouldn't know the answer to, or perhaps dig deeper in to reasonings behind certain things we do. I was forced to sit back and think about why I do do certain things, and why we follow certain guidelines. Do I do them because I understand WHY, or is it simply because I have told that way to be true? In essence I found myself preaching to me as well, reiterating things I already knew but had forgotten or let slip, reminding myself of the reasons behind things.
No, I didn't find all the answers to the questions she asked. Some of them we searched together to find them, others we just left hanging. But it is now up to me to find those answers, and understand them fully. How can I claim to "preach" and to be a devotee of Krsna if I do not understand Krsna Consciousness fully? Perhaps when Kowhai returns to Mayapur (not in her immediate future plans but who knows, Krsna works in mysterious ways!) then I can give her the answers she needs.
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