Death

I stumbled across some horrific images online the other day, of dead bodies after a crime - suicide, murder, car crashes and so on. I'm not even sure how I came upon the site, and in fact as soon as I saw what it was, a voice in the back of my head told me to close it down, close it down. But it was one of those things, I just couldn't tear my eyes away from the horror. Some photos there was no blood, and the person seemed like they were just sleeping - until you saw a limb 20m away from the body. Other photos there was blood everywhere and it was hard to determine where the body actually was. And some images even had close-up shot of the exact damage if it was really severe. I won't begin to explain, you'll get nightmares.

Because I did. Ever since then all I can think about is what if I die some horrific death and end up like one of those bodies? Its not something I think about much, I've always though t I'd just deal with it when it came. Idealistically I imagined living until I was an old grandma, and being on my deathbed surrounded by photos of Krsna, tulasi around my neck, a Prabhupada japa recording playing in the background, or kirtan. Surrounded by everything that will ensure the last thing I think of in my last breath would be that smiling blue boy playing his sweet flute.

But who am I kidding, that kind of death is a special one. Most probably I'll get some sort of disease that will have me lying in a cold sterile hospital bed, or I'll choke on a puchka and die a slow painful death on the Mayapur road-side. Hey, at least I'll be in the dhama right?

Enough, enough of the morbid thoughts. This post is turning out to be a bit dark I know, and I'm sorry. I guess seeing those images really jolted me into thinking about how I'm going to go, and that in actual fact it could be anytime, anywhere.

So how can I ensure that even if I DO die from a fatal car accident, I can remember Krsna at the time of death? Is there even a way to ensure that? The thought of taking birth again here is horrifying, especially as I see Kali-Yuga rapidly progressing right in front of my eyes. I have to make the most of the knowledge I was given in this lifetime. If I were to die tomorrow, would I be prepared? Would I be pleased with the progress in Krsna Consciousness that I had made up until that point?

I must keep reminding myself that death could be around any corner.